


Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 466

by crazyoldhermit



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit [18]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6407077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyoldhermit/pseuds/crazyoldhermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed for our hero the hermit. He has kept his distance from the Lars family, but his sweet meditation skills have allowed him speak with his former Master. After a heated discussion with him, another dead Jedi decides to crash the party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 466

TATOOINE - Day 466:

It's been one year since my last journal entry. Besides my daily surveillance of their homestead, I have had no contact with the Lars family. 

Luke is now one and a half years old. He is walking and talking, and has been doing so from an early age. He is also strong with the Force, sensing my presence whenever I'm near. 

My meditation continues. Every few days I hear a few words from my old Master. I have so many questions for him. 

Today when I began my daily meditation ritual I could immediately sense that something was different. The air was alive with electricity, giving me goosebumps and making my skin tingle. I closed my eyes and began my deep breathing. My heart rate slowed. I reached out to Qui-Gon. 

"I'm here, Obi-Wan," my Master said from beyond. 

With my eyes closed I spoke, "I can hear you, Master."

"No, Obi-Wan. You don't understand. I am here."

"I'm confused, Master." 

"Open your damn eyes," Qui-Gon commanded. 

My heart began to race. I was so nervous that I felt as if my eyes were sealed shut. 

Then Qui-Gon whispered into my ear, "Open."

Crap, that was scary! Ok Obi, I thought, just open your freaking eyes!

I peeked slightly. Blue light. I opened them all the way. A glorious vision was before me. My dead Master was a shimmering blue translucent form. I nearly shit myself. 

"Hello old friend," Qui-Gon spoke casually to me as if he were still made of living flesh and bone. 

"I'm at a loss for words," I stammered. 

"That is natural, my old Padawan," he smiled and chills ran up my spine. 

"Where are you?"

Qui-Gon chuckled slightly, "I am one with the Force."

My mouth fell open like a slack jawed Gungan. I had no idea how to respond. 

"I'm here to warn you, Obi-Wan."

This did not help my fragile mind state. 

"Something is coming," he continued. "I can't say what, but you need to be on your guard."

That is fucking great. 

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me?" Qui-Gon innocently inquired. 

"Actually," I began, having waited a long time for this, "why did you have me train Anakin?"

"Really?" His ghostly face displayed disbelief. "That's what you want to ask? I don't know how long I can hold this form."

"I need to know, Qui-Gon. Why did go against the Council's orders and take Anakin as your Padawan? Then as your dying wish you asked me to me train him?"

Without missing a beat Qui-Gon stated, "He is the chosen one."

"Poodoo!" I exclaimed. "I understand that you've been out of the loop for a while, but Anakin has turned into a murdering cock!"

"I am one with the Force, Obi. I see everything."

"Then why the hell did you have me train a Sith Lord?!" I was forgetting that my former Master was an apparition, and viewed him more as someone who held the answers I needed. 

"I'm sensing great anger in you, Kenobi. Anger is the path to..."

"Oh don't give me that shit!" I was beside myself. Fourteen years of questions and frustrations erupted from my mouth. "When we were fleeing Naboo and landed on Tatooine, why did you make me stay with the ship, guarding the Queen's body double for two days? Why didn't you just take the part we needed from Watto's junkyard? When people were dying on Naboo why did you waste time playing games of chance with that Toydarian? Why didn't you liberate Anakin and his mother, thus helping to prevent a major triggering event in his life?" 

I was shocked to see Qui-Gon's blue Force ghost face turn slightly red. He took what I assumed was a breath and smirked at me. "Can I ask you a question, Kenobi?"

"Sure, why the hell not?"

I felt his translucent eyes peering through my very being. "Why did you let Darth Maul kill me?"

"I didn't!" I sat upright in disbelief. 

"When we kept getting stuck between the oscillating shields you could have Force ran to my side. We could have taken him together, Obi-Wan."

"I, uh, I, uh." Touché you dead bastard. 

Shaking his head he gave me one final jab, "I could still be alive today if you had just lit a fire under your own ass."

Yikes. 

Then there came a pounding on my door. I stood up from my meditation pose and walked across my hut utterly confused and in shock. When I reached the entrance I looked back, but Qui-Gon was gone. 

Opening the door I was flabbergasted to find another long dead face staring back at me. 

"I'm back, mother fucka!"

"Mace?" was all I was able to get out before he clubbed me across my head, knocking me out cold.


End file.
